The JC Whitney catalog was a treasure trove of unique car accessories, including this… [+] Car horns attract attention.
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During the car-crazed youth of many Americans, perusing the annual J.C. Whitney auto parts catalog was essential to stoking the desire for luxury vehicles. If you grew up in Chicago or its suburbs, you may remember Warshawsky & Co., whose first edition dates back to 1934.
Besides the usual assortment of tires, batteries, mufflers, etc., J.C. Whitney’s book also featured a wide selection of just about any body part for a vintage Jeep or Volkswagen Beetle, including hood scoops, wheel covers, spoilers, fender flares, seat covers, etc., all of which were readily available via phone or mail order form. But the book was also known as an offbeat store for automotive accessories that could turn any ordinary car into a custom cruiser.
This was back when a device called a steering wheel spinner knob was all but essential for one-handed driving, leaving the other arm free to hold a lit cigarette or drape over a date’s shoulder. Those bored of the simple “honk” could use a horn that, instead of a single-note horn, would have passengers sing “La Cucaracha” or “Dixie” in a few notes. Our favorite as kids was the naughty “Hollywood Wolf Whistle,” which we knew would attract the attention of women at traffic lights once we were old enough to drive.
The company has since been acquired by CarParts.com, and the catalog is now a distant memory. But the JC Whitney name lives on in the form of print and digital publications aimed at car enthusiasts and DIYers, most recently launched at JCWhitney.com. There’s also an online store selling car parts and JC Whitney-branded merchandise, but I really miss the truly quirky items from the old catalogs that harken back to a simpler time when cars were around, like these quirky accessories.
The car radio telephone. This device, which turned an ordinary sedan into the “car of the future,” predated the cell phone by at least 20 years. Supposedly marketed to make even factory workers feel like high-paid executives when they sat in the driver’s seat, the device essentially turned any car, truck, or boat into a low-powered radio station that allowed you to communicate with family and companions at a range of up to 10 miles.
Dashboard record player. Chrysler tried selling the original version of this early audio accessory that played 45 RPM “singles” on a dash-mounted turntable. Ads for the aftermarket version touted that it “operates smoothly over rough roads, curves and with sudden starts and stops,” but you probably needed a long drive on a freshly paved interstate to play an entire three-minute song without skipping.
Deluxe left-foot accelerator. The idea was that if your right foot got tired on a long drive, you could add a left-foot pedal and keep driving. Or you could put both pedals on the floor for maximum thrust. Legal issues apparently prevented this feature from becoming mainstream.
“Dooremi Door Chime.” This device essentially turns your car into a giant music box, playing an enchanting melody every time the door is opened. There were several versions of this device, including the adorable “Let Me Call You Sweetheart” and “I Love You Truly,” as well as the saintly “Ave Maria.”
Foot-operated radio switches: a quirky automotive add-on that would eventually make its way into production cars, though the current version is operated by your fingertips and mounted on the steering wheel rather than the floor.
Fluffy car muffs. Luckily, the fad was short-lived. People dressed up their cars by wrapping fluffy white fur around their mirrors, horns, visors and car club plaques. And dangling fluffy dice from the rearview mirror is still fashionable among some drivers, as is wearing Hawaiian shirts on the weekends.
Gyrostabilizers. These devices feel like something straight out of an episode of Star Trek the Original Series (“Adjust your gyrostabilizer, Mr. Scott…”). They made dubious claims to extend tire life, automatically balance the wheels, smooth out bumps and improve handling, and were sold in sets of two because “dual gyros” sounded cooler in the 1960s. Today, gyros are what you order at Greek restaurants.
Hollywood Wolf Whistle. This gadget, which produces a once-popular, now sexist, derogatory wolf call, is defined by Wikipedia as “a distinctive two-note glissando whistle sound made to show strong interest in or approval of something or someone, usually a woman.” However, unlike an electric horn, this uncool attention-grabber is powered by the engine’s intake manifold.
Hollywood mufflers are an even stranger item that likely has nothing to do with the movie capital of the world, but for whatever reason, they make any ordinary car sound like a motorboat.
Horn, horn, horn. The J.C. Whitney catalog features a number of horns with different sounds, including one that “roars like a real Mustang” (presumably not intended for Chevrolet Camaro owners), an Electronic Donkey Horn that roars “Hee-Haw” to attract attention, and an Ocean Liner Blast Horn that would have been an ideal upgrade for the land yachts that dominated the roads in the 1960s and 1970s.
“Hot Rocket” Hood Ornament. Update your ride for the space age with this hood ornament that would make Flash Gordon proud, complete with interior lights and fast-spinning plastic fins.
In-car coffee maker kits. Back before drive-through windows, this was the only way to get fresh coffee without getting out of your car. It clipped onto the dashboard, plugged into the cigarette lighter socket, and could brew up to five cups of coffee. Unfortunately, travel mugs and cup holders hadn’t been invented yet, so it’s easy to imagine drivers and passengers spilling hot coffee on their laps in the process.
Race/Sports Car Recordings. Among its diverse offerings, JC Whitney sold records of famous races. At the time, sound effects recordings were popular among early stereo enthusiasts. When people dragged their record players out to the backyard and turned them up loud, the neighbors would wonder what on earth those “crazy kids” were doing driving up and down the alley.
Whitewall Kits. Remember when cars came with whitewall tires? We don’t, but if you’re a regular reader of the J.C. Whitney catalog, if you have a steady hand, you can buy a kit that lets you paint whitewalls onto what are essentially plain black tires.
“Winky” and friends, stuffed animals designed to sit in the backseat of a car with eyes that eerily glow in sync with brake lights and turn signals, were a JC Whitney staple until the late 1980s. As spooky as they were, they were actually the precursors to the elevated center brake light that’s been mandatory on all cars since 1986 for safety reasons.
